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Starting the day off…

May 19, 2008

Happy Monday… (I think)

I get Runner’s World’s daily ‘kick in the butt’ and today’s is sooo me:

“Running is my meditation, mind flush, cosmic telephone, mood elevator and spiritual communion.”

Lorraine Moller

My foot injury has gotten so bad lately that I’m unable to run again… tomorrow I head to the podiatrist..


I got this email this morning.. my husband is going to be busy with classes this summer…

Summer Classes for Men at

by Friday, August 17th 2008

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays–Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll–Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?–Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor–Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Dinner Dishes–Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity–Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things–Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch–Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost–Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday’s noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live–Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy–Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You’re Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven–What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
The Man’s Prayer
I’m a man, but I can change, if I have to, I guess.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. May 19, 2008 5:42 pm

    Hope your foot is better soon!

    My hubby could use a few of those classes too! 🙂

  2. May 19, 2008 1:28 pm

    That’s hilarious!

    Hope the foot gets better! 🙂

  3. May 19, 2008 10:37 am

    Oh Michelle so sorry about your foot, I know how much running means to you. This too shall pass, I pray the DR has the answer to stop this once and for all.

    I have seen that email, lol. I got another today about an aging wife and her tactful, NOT husband. LOL.

    Sorry about your field trip yesterday but looks like it all worked out anyway.

  4. Mary permalink
    May 19, 2008 9:31 am

    Hope your foot get better soon!
    Love the classes!!! Thanks so much for a great start to a Monday!! LOL

  5. chanknits permalink
    May 19, 2008 7:50 am

    Sorry about the foot. My back had another flare-up yesterday too, but has calmed back down a bit. Good luck!

    The Knight sees no humor in the summer class schedule. I’m blaming it on his cold.

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