*Update*
I ended up speaking with her and it went very well. She apologized and said that the warning I had given her regarding the ’screamer’ had come true and that for a few months now she’s been feeling badly about the whole situation, and how she had left it with me. I’m glad I listened, and am now moving on. Thank you all for your input!
So, There’s this thing from my past.. now don’t get any ideas.. I didn’t do anything bad…
When I left my old and loved *up until a few months before we left, neighborhood I was thankful to say goodbye to a painful part of my life… that pain actually lead me to starting this blog…
to sum it up without giving out too much info..
I had a tiff (which is seriously putting it lightly… picture insults being screamed at me and my husband regarding our parenting, marriage, and children on our front porch, with several other neighbors witnessing this) with some neighbors and supposed good friends.. and it started on the day we celebrated my birthday (which was the day before my actual birthday)… I felt attacked.. the situation came as a complete surprise to me and basically my 2 best friends in my neighborhood turned their backs on me and our several years long friendship.
Moving to PA gave me a fresh clean start, and a way to leave that pain behind me. I have kept in touch with my other good friends in NC, even some in my old neighborhood, like my dear running partner Heather… but I’ve slowly been chipping away at that sore that’s still on my heart left by the previous ‘best’ friends. This January 13th marks 1 year since it all started.. and I have so been looking forward to passing that date… moving onward and into better friendships.
This morning though, I received an email from one of the people (not the public insult slinger) who hurt me so badly… that says this…
Hello Michelle,
I hope this email finds you doing well in Pa and that you and your family are enjoying the holiday to come with planning and decorating. Please take a moment to read my email and not hit delete as I am sure your wanting to do right now.
There are so many things I want to say and share with you but I know here is just not the best way to do it. Too much typing. Lately I have been trying to figure out a way to say a few things. It is very different you are not across the street. At Halloween it just was not the same and now Christmas has brought other memories of the fun you shared. All I will say it recently some things have happened and I feel the need to talk to you. You may not want to and I understand if you do not. I contacted Heather for your email as I had no contact information for you. If you feel so inclined call me and let’s talk but if you don’t can’t say I do not blame you there either.
Hope to hear from you,
SO…
My question is this… SHOULD I contact her? I’m a Christian. I believe in the power of forgiveness. I believe that God will forgive all things, and that I should try to also. But sometimes my faith in forgiveness falters because the pain is too much.
I did actually send an email that says this:
Thank you for writing. But I’m not so sure I can talk to you. 2007 is a year that started with pain and was full of goodbyes, and I have been looking forward to the fresh start that PA has offered us, and the fresh start of a new year without the reminders of things past. My birthday will mark a day when I can finally put all of the insanity of Subdivision name I’m removing for anonymity and the pain it gave me, in my last months there, behind me.
While I admit to being curious… I just don’t know if I can handle going there right now.
Curiosity killed the cat they say… and right now it’s driving me batty… what do you all think???